A true story – is it okay to not be okay or is it a shame?

The best way to express your feelings is to note them down as you feel them.

So to express the pain of what it is like to feel oversensitive. Or over depressed because of existential conditions created by the circumstances of the politics of the time?

What is like to live continually under the mental pressure of the threats of your local government? And continual anxiety?

What is like to not feel okay at all?

What is like to live continually under the mental pressure of the threats of your local government?

What is like to feel a subconscious feeling of panic attack try to choke you from within from the stress and endless worries that you get from the psychological torture of your local government?

What is like to see a friend die because of political oppression and inhumane psychological abuse of the local governments? Local governments who put people in animal stables and torture their spirt in depressive places that lack fresh air and a basic space for living?

What is like to feel and see pain? And so on with other feelings and other forms of human pain.

However, here is a problem. For if you dare and note your feelings as you see and as you feel them. And if you are conscious of your pain and able to see consciously the problem, this may anger people of power, who like to abuse. And who do not like you, as a citizen, to not know the connection that exists between condition and psychological torture.

And as such local governments want you to not the connection between continual threats and bullying and harassment and psychological abuse! They want you to feel the pain, keep your mouth shut and understand nothing until you die.

And then, they call an NHS doctor and tell, he or she died from a heart attack! And the matter is closed! Happy justice!

So, people who hold big local government power want you to be ignorant of the pain that you go through.

Some other people, however, by seeing that you do not show your pain all the time, they are so thick that they think that you are okay all the time. And for them, it is not okay to not be okay.

However, they do not know the struggle that you go through behind the scenes. What you do not express or show. The many hours and the many days that you disappear. The depressive sate of mind in which you are in, when they do not see you. And they are also unaware of the psychological torture that you have gone through as a result of a continual abuse of your local government,.

So what is the story and what is the moral of the story? 

Let me tell you first a true story. So we may get the moral from it.

On 27th January 2021 at approximately 14:15 p.m, I was having a chat with the owner of the lodge, where I am living at the moment.

And I said to him “that the place is too small, it is a box room only.

(This is a box room that may have been a single room previously. And now it is split into two to make space for capitalist gain. And that lacks the basic amount of space for living. And the basic amount of fresh air. )

And it is too depressive, too noisy. And I can’t even breathe in that place from the lack of space and the lack of fresh air. And so this place is affecting immensely my mental health. Making me choke into my throat many times.

And after, I expressed my pain, he said, “look, I want to be honest with you Konstantin. The council does not….

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