It is the Sunday morning of 14 Feb 2021.  And the time is approximately 05:00 a.m in London Town. And I have been over 40 hours sleepless, over anxious, over depressed, over sensitive. 

And also, I have experienced suicidal thoughts during Thursday and Friday, 11th and 12lve February 2021. Because of the threats of Hammersmith and Fulham council or state power.

On 11th Feb 2021, I called Central and North West London single point of access telling them that I was losing control of myself. Feeling pain in my chest, feeling over sensitive and over anxious. And suicidal.

They told me that they will call me tomorrow because they were very busy. That was 12lve Feb 2021. 

They didn’t call me. But as I achieved to push away the torture of suicidal thoughts and over sensitivity. I became sleepless. And on 13th Feb, I called back the Single Point of Access reporting over depression, over anxiety and a feeling of panic attack. But I said to them, I am not feeling suicidal. 

In short, from the above points, we see Hammersmith and Fulham council to appear like a thug who holds a knife. And has cornered me, and any other citizen in a such situation, while threatening with the knife of “EVICTION.” 

The Letter of Eviction of Hammersmith and Fulham council are a threat with a knife or a gun towards me and towards anyone in as such condition.

Still, even in this pain, I dare to ask myself, how comes that the threats of Hammersmith and Fulham council affect my sleep, and my mental health so badly, and why? What are they, gods?

Then, I come to the conclusion that says, their thuggish threats mean I will end up in the cold streets of London with all my belongings. And that very thinking brings suffer, pain and death to my mind. And it brings me to the very first steps of stress subconsciously and consciously. 

And from that moment, I simply can’t stop thinking to find a solution.

And as I struggle to find a solution, and as I fail to find a solution, I plunge deep into depression every now and then. Over anxiety and panic attacks subconsciously make me feel like I will choke into my throat. And I feel like I am having a heart attack.

But how comes a philosopher, a thinker being pushed so low by a bunch of state maniacs, who love to see others suffer from pain? 

Let me tell you that their threats are as powerful as in seeing a thug pull a gun on your head. That means not matter what, you are breakable from their form of threats and their form of abuse. 

And you don’t break down just like that. But as you try to stand for your rights. And while living in their animal stables while under their continual threats. It is during this time that you break down and fall badly mentally. 

So this pain and this struggle brings me to another question, “Up to what point can we resist state abuse and how?

I see no other way of resisting STATE abuse and the SILENCE of our MEDIA, that refuses to express the truth of the pain that we are going through, but standing and giving our souls up while standing for our rights.

And as I write and feel and see the pain,. I can clearly say that to stand up for your rights is the hardest thing on earth. 

And it is true, that I would not have liked to be turned into a social experiment of the Abuser of Hammersmith and Fulham Government.

But I have no other choice their threats and their harassment and mean forms of bullyings and their “Landlord power,” that control my rent, have turned me into a Social Experiment willy-nilly. Through conditions and circumstances that have been created for the oppressed to fall as a prey of the oppressors – the predators of Das Capital that eat human souls. 

And at the end, as I feel a panic attack to creep into my being from this form of oppression, I wonder, “How weak and how fragile and how breakable that we seem to be in front of these MONSTERS of State power that abuse us and our laws…..

But, on the other hand, as a thinker, in all conditions and circumstances, I like to make questions every time something happens to me, to others and to the world.

Therefore, here, I ask, “Thugs of the local governments of London, when will you drop the knives that you hold in your hands? Knives that threaten us with evictions and high living standards and unaffordable housing prices? Eh, thugs?